By Dr. Ramon Presson
Have you noticed that you’re getting fewer Christmas cards every year and fewer of the annual family brag letters that accompany them?
You can blame or thank Facebook for both of those declines.
I believe part of the problem with the annual family epistle is that it’s neither completely honest nor interactive enough to hold reader interest. As a public service I’m providing a sample family Christmas letter that you can edit to match your own family’s story:
Well, it’s been quite a year here in Taylor household. Chad completed his
A) First novel
B) His residency at Vanderbilt
C) Second triathalon
D) Court-ordered community service
Melissa has had quite a busy year herself
A) Winning the election and a seat on the City Council
B) Serving as an adjunct economics professor at Belmont University
C) Recruiting celebrities to appear on her new televised cooking show
D) Running up the Visa bill in retaliation for Chad surprising her with a bass fishing tournament for their 20th anniversary.
Our precocious son, Spencer
A) Is majoring in molecular biology at the Happy Tots Preschool
B) Had a violin solo in the Chicago Symphony’s Summer Salute to Vivaldi
C) Caught the attention of a Hollywood agent after his Shakespeare St. Crispin’s Day Speech on YouTube went viral.
D) Is being homeschooled after biting most of his classmates and threatening to “snuff out” his teacher.
This spring our genius daughter, Ashley
A) Got a perfect score of 36 on the ACT
B) Was state cross country champ for the 3rd year in a row
C) Was awarded a full academic scholarship to Princeton
D) Wrecked the car again and will be paying her own way to community college in the fall.
In February we
A) Skied for a week in Aspen
B) Spent Valentine’s Day in Barbados
C) Learned how to carve ice sculptures in Switzerland
D) Took turns giving each other the stomach flu
Our amazing dog, Diva
A) Once again won best in show
B) Rescued a drowning priest
C) Learned to bark in French
D) Cost us $18,000 in vet bills and two floors of new carpet when she knocked over and broke a lava lamp and tried to hide the evidence by eating it.
We didn’t enclose a family photo this year because
A) Our favorite photographer was on assignment in Panama for National Geographic
B) The family didn’t want Alex to feel singled out and the warden wouldn’t let the rest of the family borrow orange jumpsuits
C) We’ve all gained weight and haven’t yet mastered the photo editing software
D) There was a sudden hurricane the day we were scheduled for our annual blue jeans & white shirts family photo shoot on the beach
We hope this letter finds you well and feeling blessed this holiday season. Please stay in touch and share with us some of your news unless
A) You are excited about the dream house you built this year
B) You have a new job where you feel fulfilled, are appreciated, and are overpaid.
C) You can’t remember which of the Hawaiian island resorts is your new favorite
D) Your brilliant, talented, sinless, and compassionate child discovered a cure for another major illness and donated her entire allowance to charity
Ramon Presson, PhD, is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Franklin (www.ramonpressontherapy.com) and the author of several books. Reach him at [email protected].
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