OPINION: Each Thanksgiving brings new lessons, gratitude

By DESSISLAVA YANKOVA

Thanksgiving gained a new meaning for me in the past half of my life.

For the first 15 years of my life, I lived in the Eastern European nation of Bulgaria, where people did not have an official Thanksgiving celebration.

When my parents and I moved to the United States 17 years ago, we gradually acclimated to our new home and its traditions. For the first few years, that included spending Thanksgiving with friends who invited us over.

Building friendships, however, takes time.

And after building friendships for seven years while I lived in East Tennessee, I had to start the process all over again once I moved to Nashville 10 years ago.

Thanksgiving, or any holiday, can be hard for someone living in a new place without relatives nearby. Not to mention some people for various reasons do not have a family or have one that’s been broken and therefore do not have an open invitation to celebrate the holiday.

I remember several years after I moved to Nashville, not having anyone with whom to celebrate Thanksgiving. Often being the only person not married and without children, I also frequently did not have the Friday after Thanksgiving off work, which left too little time for travelling.

After a few years, I started receiving invitations for Thanksgiving. There was always the looming uncertainty in the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving, however, whether I would receive an invitation or not.

With time, my friends’ circle widened. Consequently, that increased my invitation options.

Luckily, I also met other people who for various reasons did not spend Thanksgiving with their families. I feel it was around that time when I first heard the term “Friendsgiving.”

I have always felt lucky to receive one Friendsgiving invitation.

This year, I was fortunate to receive three Friendsgiving invitations.

I started the day with volunteering. Three of my favorite friends and I delivered warm meals to people in need, who were also sick, some with terminal illnesses. Needless to say, that was a perfect way to start the day as it truly helped me realize how much I have, for which to be thankful.

I truly enjoy volunteering but doing it on Thanksgiving brought an unmatched meaning to the act and this holiday. After handing out food to the people we visited, they thanked us but I felt it would be much more fitting if I thanked them.

thanksgiving
Delivering food on Thanksgiving Day brings joy.

We delivered to a woman who waited for us on a narrow backstreet near her windowless home. She waved us down from a far and acted truly excited to receive the meal. I imagined: what would it feel like to look forward to receiving a meal from a complete stranger on Thanksgiving?

I realized the worry I experienced during the years when I didn’t have anyone to spend Thanksgiving with was no worry at all, or perhaps joy, in comparison to what other people may feel.

Not to mention that after this fulfilling volunteering experience with amazing friends, I had three separate Thanksgiving gatherings I had to look forward to.

I actually felt slightly anxious about the first Friendsgiving as I only knew the one person who invited me. The group turned out to be truly welcoming and rather diverse, an atmosphere, in which I fit in perfectly. The host gave a heartwarming welcome message about equality, tolerance and finding things to be thankful for despite ongoing hardships. He said he has a hundred things to be thankful for and asked us to think of one.

This Thanksgiving/Friendsgiving I was reminded of two vitally important lessons.

First, don’t worry because eventually things will get better. And you will most likely look back and realize that by worrying, you basically wasted precious time you could have instead enjoyed. Also, the worse the experience, the more you will learn from overcoming it.

And second, thinking of and focusing on at least one thing to be thankful for is something we should all do each and every day.

Do it first thing in the morning and see how much better your day will be.

Today, I am thankful for being able to share this with you.

Reach Dessislava Yankova at 865.384.1973. Follow her on twitter @desspor.