by Dr. Bobby Harrington, Lead Pastor, Harpeth Christian Church
Like many other parts of life, a relational approach to parenting requires a delicate balance. One important balance for parents is the tension between relationship and discipline. Years ago I heard a helpful framework for how rules and relationship function together:
Rules + Poor Relationship = Rebellion
Parents who tend to simply enforce rules may raise rebellious children. They enforce rules, but do not cultivate a healthy relationship. This produces anger in the child, whether the parent is aware of the cause or not. The rules often come across as unfair, unneeded, and unwanted. A child’s reaction is rebellion and anger. The opposite approach, however, is increasingly common in our culture:
Relationship + Poor Rules = Recklessness
Parents who want to be “friends” or “buddies” with their children but lack the appropriate leadership and discipline for kids often cause their children to be reckless. Children raised in a purely relational home often take advantage of their parents.
The parents do not consistently discipline their kids and establish rules, so the children do not learn self-control or respect for authority. When proper rules are not established or relationship is absent, the home is unstable and full of problems. However, the way Jesus modeled leadership creates peace and order:
Relationship + Rules = Righteousness
Parents who balance these components will develop a healthy relationship with their children and will provide guidance, boundaries, and rules for their children. Teaching your children to live righteously comes from the Lord’s grace to establish discipline within relationship. It’s beautiful when they come together. At the same time, we can’t boil parenting down to merely a formula; it’s much more of an art.
Emphasizing relationship for parents may be more important now than in previous ages because of an increase in broken relationships in our culture. Relationship has always been important, but it seems, as a culture, we’re letting go of the value of relationships. We replace relationship with schedules, success, and technology, but if there’s any place where we have influence to change this cultural tendency, it’s when we learn to put relationships first.
To help families reconnect, Harpeth Christian Church is hosting a special Dedicated to my Family Weekend Sept 11-13, 2015:
Friday, Sept 11th: Family Night – a live Seeds Family Worship Concert @ 6:30pm
Seeds Family Worship is a music-based ministry that creates modern, relevant word for word scripture songs for families. This will be a fun, high energy worship event created for everyone in the family to enjoy, from toddlers to grandparents. Each family with paid tickets will receive the lastest DVD & Seeds Family Worship album (a $32 value). Click here for tickets!
Sunday, Sept 13th: Teaching Series Kick-off @ 9am & 10:30am
This teaching 4 weeks series will begin Sept 13th and is based on the book “Dedicated to my Family” co -written by Bobby Harrington, Chad Harrington and Jason Houser.
Sunday, Sept 13th: Parent Night @ 6:30pm
Dedicated authors, Bobby Harrington, Chad Harrington and Jason Houser will be sharing from their new book. They will encourage you, inspire you and give you practical help on your parenting journey. Each family with paid tickets will recive a free copy of the brand new book, ‘Dedicated-Training Your Children to Trust & Follow Jesus’ and an awesome DVD from Seeds Family Worship (a $52 value). Click here for tickets!
Harpeth Christian Church is located at 1101 Gardner Drive in Franklin.
